More Everything

Angry. Again. I need more right now. I'm frustrated. Tired. Upset. Aggrivated and somewhat just over it. Have you ever fought with anyone and no matter how much you say, what you explain or how many different ways you say it, you realize you aren't getting anywhere with that person? Well, that's how I feel. It's frustrating and annoying. It makes me question things. I hate when I say something, someone criticizes me and then turns around and does or says the exact same thing that they just criticized me for. Also, how can someone expect me to talk to them and be honest with them, when every comment I make has a counter point or argument? I can never truly express myself if I am always getting shut down for what I am saying or being told that what I am saying is wrong or inaccurate. It makes me think so hard about what I am saying, how to phrase it and then despite all the effort its broken down anyway. I know I am a smart girl. I know I think logically and fluidly. I am tired of the kitchen sinking and circle arguments as they would say in communication classes. Being in Italy and Europe is a great opportunity but its also pulling me apart from people from home. I don't always know what I want or what I expect, but when I do, I express it. When people can't recipricate or at least attempt to understand, it just makes me want to give up. I need a break from arguing. I need people to pay me back when I lend them money. I need people to NOT call me fat when I am not fat. I am so over boys today. Yes, boys. Not men, because men know how to treat girls. Today, that is just not happening for me. I keep thinking of this MXPX song in my head called "More Everything" and that's what I feel like right now. I'll leave you with the chorus, since that's what I am thinking about. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

More laughter, more tears,
More reasons, more cheers,
More kissing in the car,
More staring at the stars,
More colors outside the lines,
More undivided time,
More everything, in all the ways, and more

More everything in every way,
Every second of the day
And every thought that's played out in my mind

Sigh. Maybe I will just stay in Europe and be a nomad. I don't know. I probably need to get some rest since its so late (again).

Good night. Thanks for reading my pathetic post.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Dear Vatican City, I understand you are very religious, but closing the Sistine Chapel on Sunday is bad for tourists!

Image
Thaaaaat's right folks. I did NOT see Michelangelo's painting. :-( Sad face sad face tear tear. Halfway around the world, in Italy, in Rome and Vatican city is closed on Sundays. I feel like we should have all known that, but ALAS, we didn't. Yes, I am bummed. No, I didn't cry. I will live... and it gives me a good reason to go back! Although the town was closed, the Vatican has its own guards who stand and block the gates. I must say, I think these guards are way more tortured than the London ones. They looked like clowns hahaha. And they were young guys. But here is what we had to take seriously when they said the Vatican was closed... (You try not to laugh, I dare you.) HAHAHAHA. Okay, but onto a more serious note. Before the Vatican, we went to this church for Capuchin Monks. What is a Capuchin Monk you ask? A Capuchin monk is a monk who wears a capuche. A capuche is a hood.. soo a Capuchin Monk is a "Hooded Monk" roughly translated. This church that we we
Read more

A Three Day Weekend Adventure (Tuscany, Pisa, Florence, Modena, San Gimignano, Siena, and a WINERY)

Image
Wow. I don't even know how to explain to you all the places I have been, all the people I have met and all the things I have done in the past three days. The whole weekend is crystal clear and a total blur at the same time. Friday night, Stephanie, Theresa, Heather and I went to the Milan, Lambrate train station to get on another (yet, again) overnight train. After last weeks experience to Rome, it was the last thing I wanted to do, but I hoped and prayed that this train would be better (but at least I knew what I was in for if it wasn't). We got onto the train at about 12:30 at night and were pleasantly surprised to find that this train was nicer with individual seats and AIR CONDITIONING. But what we also knew, was that this train was taking us to another train station to make a switch at about 3 in the morning. We slept on the train for about an hour, woke up and got off at the appropriate train station. We waited until 3 for the next train to come. Having prepared for a h
Read more

Walking in Bangkok is like One Giant Game of Frogger

Image
Alright ladies and gentleman, men and women, boys and girls, here it is the long-promised (and definitely overdue) blogpost. As of this Thursday (9/21), I have officially lived in Bangkok for two months. With that being said, I have experienced and learned a lot already so I am going to try to encapsulate some of the glamorous and not-so-glamorous experiences and encounters I have had thus far. My aim is to get more consistent with posting but I will do my best "cliff notes" here to get it started now. Let's start simple: the title of this blogpost--Walking in Bangkok is like one giant game of Frogger . You know the one I'm talking about: the cute little frog attempts to hop his way across levels and levels of traffic without getting run over by the tractor trailer whizzing by, squishing the sad, unseeing frog to the pavement like vulture food or waiting for him to be scooped up by the alligator when hopping onto those (sometimes) disappearing logs across the river.
Read more