More Everything

Angry. Again. I need more right now. I'm frustrated. Tired. Upset. Aggrivated and somewhat just over it. Have you ever fought with anyone and no matter how much you say, what you explain or how many different ways you say it, you realize you aren't getting anywhere with that person? Well, that's how I feel. It's frustrating and annoying. It makes me question things. I hate when I say something, someone criticizes me and then turns around and does or says the exact same thing that they just criticized me for. Also, how can someone expect me to talk to them and be honest with them, when every comment I make has a counter point or argument? I can never truly express myself if I am always getting shut down for what I am saying or being told that what I am saying is wrong or inaccurate. It makes me think so hard about what I am saying, how to phrase it and then despite all the effort its broken down anyway. I know I am a smart girl. I know I think logically and fluidly. I am tired of the kitchen sinking and circle arguments as they would say in communication classes. Being in Italy and Europe is a great opportunity but its also pulling me apart from people from home. I don't always know what I want or what I expect, but when I do, I express it. When people can't recipricate or at least attempt to understand, it just makes me want to give up. I need a break from arguing. I need people to pay me back when I lend them money. I need people to NOT call me fat when I am not fat. I am so over boys today. Yes, boys. Not men, because men know how to treat girls. Today, that is just not happening for me. I keep thinking of this MXPX song in my head called "More Everything" and that's what I feel like right now. I'll leave you with the chorus, since that's what I am thinking about. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

More laughter, more tears,
More reasons, more cheers,
More kissing in the car,
More staring at the stars,
More colors outside the lines,
More undivided time,
More everything, in all the ways, and more

More everything in every way,
Every second of the day
And every thought that's played out in my mind

Sigh. Maybe I will just stay in Europe and be a nomad. I don't know. I probably need to get some rest since its so late (again).

Good night. Thanks for reading my pathetic post.

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